Haunted by Dancing
by homocupcakes
Summary: He doesn't sleep anymore. Contains spoilers, Janto, and hinted Jack/Gwen  not love . Post CoE. How Jack feels in the aftermath of it all. Rated T because I don't think a child would quite understand the complexities of a relationship.


**Jade: **You've changed your name... again.  
><strong>GreedyEmo: <strong>Yeah well... I figured that it'd be easier to manage if all my different accounts had the same name.  
><strong>Ryan: <strong>Makes sense to me.  
><strong>Jade: <strong>Pfft. Rebecca Black makes sense to you.  
><strong>Ryan: <strong>Hey! That song is catchy.  
><strong>GreedyEmo: <strong>Is no one gonna comment on the fact that I've strayed away from anime and done a Torchwood fic?  
><strong>Jade: <strong>...not really; you've got half a dozen Torchwood fics on your laptop _plus _a semi-complete Queer as Folk/Harry Potter fic.  
><strong>Ryan: <strong>Plus, you've written it in your favourite and most-used genre, "sort of angst".  
><strong>Jade: <strong>Kinda says alot about your personallity.  
><strong>GreedyEmo: <strong>...shut up. Anyway, warnings and disclaimer?  
><strong>Jade: <strong>We'll let you handle this  
><strong>Ryan: <strong>Think of it as a christening of sorts.  
><strong>GreedyEmo: <strong>...okay. **Warnings: **Hints at Jack/Gwen (Gwack?) but don't worry, mostly Janto. Contains spoilers for Children of Earth. Mentions Jack being married, dancing with the real Captain Jack Harkness, dancing with Gwen at her wedding, and dancing with Ianto at Gwen's wedding. Kinda angsty... I don't know. **Disclaimer: **Just got off the phone with Russell T. Davies, apparently he's not selling the rights to Torchwood or any of the characters.

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><p><strong>Haunted by Dancing, a Torchwood fanfic<strong>

He doesn't sleep anymore.

Not since that day; that day when he abandoned all hope of ever getting over the young Welshman and ran away. Despite Gwen's pleas and insistences (A/N – Try saying that whilst drunk), the immortal had run away, because that's what he does, he runs away from what he's afraid of. At that moment, that night, on top of that hill, Captain Jack Harkness, dashing hero, the Doctor's close friend, was afraid of Gwen Williams, ex-copper.

He was afraid of the feelings he had for her, the feelings any man would have for a young, attractive girl who had changed so many things, would have. The feelings of protectiveness, of caring for someone close. The feelings anyone would have for their best friend. There was no love. There was admiration, and there was affection, but there were never any feelings as strong as love. No feelings that could make him weak at the knees just by seeing a smile, feelings that would make him want to hold them because said smile had faltered, no feelings that would make him cry and promise them he'll remember them, even after a thousand years, no feelings that would make him sit and hold their hand, so they didn't die alone.

He was afraid of Gwen Williams because he was afraid his affection would increase, and that he'd forget all about Ianto Jones, the man who without trying, had somehow succeeded where countless others had failed. Jack had opened up to Ianto – temporarily, but he'd opened up all the same – when all he did was ask.

Now he's gone, and all the words he ever spoke to Ianto all seem pointless and irrelevant, because he never said the three words that, whenever Ianto was around, were on the tip of his tongue. The fact that he never showed the man, who gave his everything to him, how much he was loved, it drives him mad. Ianto had given his body, his trust, his love, to a man who spent most of his time flirting with a married woman, giving her false hope, dragging himself in deeper.

He still remembers her wedding, he danced with her as if they were the happy couple, and when Ianto had cut in to dance with Jack, he remembers how he rolled his eyes, thinking this was just typical Ianto, and he remembers how the dance just seemed like something casual to Jack, nothing exceptional. It wasn't until much later, after he'd finished looking at his own wedding pictures, that to Ianto, the dance was more than just that; it was a show of trust. Only after thinking about it afterwards did he realise that Ianto would never have the guts to just go up and dance, especially with a man, but he did and all he got in return was a clean-up operation.

All of the bad things that happened in his lifetimes, all the horrible tragedies, and bloody massacres, only one memory keep him awake at night. Dancing. Dancing is a trigger, for all the bad memories. Dancing with his wife at their wedding thinking he would be that happy forever, dancing with the real Captain Jack Harkness, the night before he was going to die, dancing with Gwen and pretending that it was the reality, and finally, dancing with Ianto, who took what he could get, no questions asked, and never pressed for more, who danced with the man who killed his girlfriend, who kept secrets and told lies, the man he loved.

He doesn't sleep anymore; he's haunted by dancing.

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><p><strong>GreedyEmo: <strong>Loved it? Hated it? Want to hug me? Want to shoot me? Tell me in review!  
><strong>Ryan: <strong>Wow, you're really desperater for reviews aren't you?  
><strong>GreedyEmo: <strong>Well, it may not be my first Torchwood fic but it's the only one I'm happy enough with to actually post up. I need to know if people like it, then I'll know if I should bother with my other ones.  
><strong>Jade: <strong>Will you shut up and let the people leave?  
><strong>GreedyEmo: <strong>Right... sorry... Bye. Leave a review, it might help bring Ianto back! 


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